Holy cow, I never knew how difficult it would be to get over jet lag. I am really struggling and still having tummy problems. I am soooo thankful for my husband who has been Super Dad and very helpful. Everyone seems to be doing pretty well except for me. Adia still seems very happy and laughs and plays all day long. She is a very busy girl. I am still her least favorite person. I am not sure what that's about but it's kind of hard when she prefers everyone but me. I can't make a toddler let me hold her while she is screaming etc...What to do??????? Any suggestions would be great. I am sure it will get better over time. She is very independent and plays by herself but loves to be with older kids. Our kids LOVE her and are having a blast. She is eating pretty well, I have started mixing everything with rice and then she will at least try it. She loves yogurt, fruit, graham crackers etc... She takes a 2-hour nap in the afternoon and goes to bed around 9pm. She has been getting up around 5am which is way to early for our family but it is so light out she can't sleep anymore. I think we are going to look into getting some blackout shades for in our room. I am not a morning person and 5am everyday is not good!!!!
I better go and clean something since she is napping...pictures to come later today.
5 comments:
So glad things are going well for you :) Those first few weeks are hard but they do usually get better. I think it will help being home with her and providing the majority of her basic needs while your hubbie is at work. I pray she starts to settle in with you more - it is always normal when they attach to one parent over the other at first.
Oh, also hoping you get some sleep and have no more tummy trouble!
Hang in there with the sleep and tummy stuff -- that's so hard because your physical troubles can't help but affect your outlook on life.
Amy's right -- the children usually choose one main person at first, but that's okay for now. I would contact your local social worker for ideas . . .
But in the meantime, here are my totally non-professional ideas. :o) I'd continue to be the only source of food, formula, etc. if at all possible. If she won't let you carry her or snuggle, I'd try to find ways to make her laugh, or be the one who plays with her preferred toys/books with her. Having daddy go back to work will help too.
I also found is strange and disorienting that, although I loved Anya Rashi dearly, we were still strangers to each other and needed time to get to know each other. Give yourself lots of grace as you adjust to three kids. It's hard work. If you ever want to e-mail, feel free!
Hugs to you,
Nancy
I agree with the suggestions given...I would also suggest playing games with her that require eye contact (like peak-a-boo or playing in front of a mirror), but not necessarily touching her. If you can establish the eye contact the rest should follow. I'm sure in the weeks to come she will seem closer to one person one week and then another later. The good news is she is finding her comfortable spot in your family. It is hard when all you've longed for is that snuggle and she isn't ready to receive it from you yet, but it will come.
I never knew that jet-lag could feel like an illness until traveling to India. Hang in there...it will get better.
It sounds like you are doing quite well in spite of the huge changes your whole family are all adjusting to.
I would also contact your social worker for more support if you are still feeling unsettled.
Facebook privately or email too if you need moral support!
:) Julie
It is fairly common for the children to "reject" the adoptive mother at first. Goes along with their feelings of rejection and abondanment, etc. Not easy for the Momma to deal with, but not altogether uncommon. Lots of eye contact and non-threatening touch. Try to do some massage with lotion with her. Rewards like little candies (m&m's, etc for good eye contact.) Make sure to get down on her level if she won't let you hold her just yet. Be strict with visitors. Don't allow her to bond with another female family member first. Do everything for her. Try to regress her if possible or have her sit on your lap in the rocking chair or comfy chair with her cup, etc. My son bonded with my husband first as well, just know you aren't alone. He is now firmly a Momma's boy. :) Lots of work, but stick with. Google attachment exercises or something for great articles/helps. Talk with your social worker. Don't just let it go on. It would only get harder later on.
BIG BIG hugs. You will get through to her.
She is beautiful!
Pam
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